I thought it would be impossible to find love in my life while being severely ill and disabled. Especially, as I’m trapped inside my room and am 99% bedbound with severe ME. I had given up that idea – yet, I sometimes daydreamed about meeting someone and having a relationship.
Before getting this ill, I had always lived a life inside the societal norms, which definitely affected my ability to view relationships differently. I also had a relationship while having a moderate illness, but having ME imposed significant strain on it. So, in my mind, having an even more severe form would make a relationship impossible.
Eventually, life showed me I was wrong. I found the love of my life – my soulmate – when I least expected it. Line and I have been together for a year now! A long-distance relationship with a person who has a very severe ME makes it different, but it’s our relationship, and it’s something special. There are many things we have never done, but we have found our own ways.
We haven’t met in person, and there are a thousand kilometres between us, but we are always there for each other.
We have never held each other, but we have comforted one another whenever things get hard.
We haven’t kissed, but we show affection every day.
I didn’t kneel or put the ring on Line’s finger, but we are engaged.
We haven’t met each other's family, but we have gotten to know them.
We have never held hands, but we know the shape of one another.
We haven’t been together during the holidays, but we have formed our own traditions.
We haven’t smelled each other, but we know the scent of one another.
We don’t live together, but I feel at home.
ME imposes significant challenges on our lives, but we always make it work.
But most importantly, we love each other, and that’s what counts.
Happy anniversary to my love!
Line is usually not good at keeping secrets like these; she sent me a surprise bouquet on my birthday in September, and I was amazed at how she did it! I loved the flowers.
I had to propose via a recorded video, because even a video call would crash Line. I remember being very nervous but so happy before the recording. It was also a lot of exertion for me: dressing up, being upright and talking to a camera. I had to sedate myself to withstand it better.
It was a lot of effort and shipping things around to get the rings to each other, but we made it work like always.
Getting engaged after such a short time of being together felt only natural. I think it means more to wear a ring in our situation as it’s a tangible reminder of our love – something I put on every morning that makes me think about Line. There is also a story about the rings. The colours of the stones represent our eye colours: my eyes are hazel, so Line’s ring has a green stone; and Line’s eyes are brown, so my ring has a brownish stone.
Line, with the help of her mom, made me a gift calendar for Christmas. It was lovely to open one each morning while drinking tea. And I always filmed myself opening them so Line could be part of it.
Line had combined our hand photographs into one, so it looks like we are holding hands. This was a card that she sent to me with the picture on it.
Line has sent me Danish food items, like pålægschokolade and tea. It’s nice to learn a bit about Danish food culture even when I’m not able to visit her.
I came up with the idea to send a paper cutout of my hand to Line, and eventually she sent one to me as well. I remember how amazing it felt to know the shape of her hand for the first time.
We send gifts and letters to each other. It takes a lot of effort to make a handwritten letter, something that Line isn’t able to do, but I can. It’s always worth it.
