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In June 2022, my illness, myalgic encephalomyelitis, progressed from moderate to very severe overnight. That meant I became bedbound and unable to care for myself. At the beginning of July 2022, I was transferred from Turku, a city where I had lived for over 8 years and had tried to build a life, back to my childhood home in Lahti. The reason I had to move was that my mother was the only person able to carry the huge burden and care for me.

I thought it would be impossible to find love in my life while being severely ill and disabled. Especially, as I’m trapped inside my room and am 99% bedbound with severe ME. I had given up that idea – yet, I sometimes daydreamed about meeting someone and having a relationship.

They have denied all my disability pension and sickness benefit applications. The appeals are denied as well. I’m deemed fully fit for work and made to collect unemployment "benefits". Every year this pile of denials grows while each of them shatters something inside of me – something that can never be fixed again.